Often, in marriage, as we walk through the day to day routine of life, we forget to celebrate THE greatest gift God has bestowed on His people. For a Christian couple, marriage should be a life-long party!

Yes, we understand that life is hard and yes we understand that even in the best of Christian marriages there are tough times. However, when we realize the benefits of Celebrating Marriage together, it gives us a reason to rejoice!

A Partner

The first benefit of a Christian marriage is that God has given us a Partner. What joy there is for the couple that has built a friendship over the years and walks through life with their best friend? We have been best friends virtually since the day we met on our blind date. Conversation was easy and fun!  For others that friendship must develop.

All friendships take time, energy and effort. When we take the time, put forth the energy and effort to building a friendship with our spouse, we take our eyes off ourselves and learn the gift of serving. Further, with Christ at the center of our friendship, we fulfill the Scripture which says:

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

A Provider

The second benefit is that we have a Provider. Couples who Celebrate, realize that each one is gifted uniquely and we learn to defer to the strength of the other. This fleshes itself out differently in every marriage. But couples who Celebrate realize that in marriage we were meant to complete each other, not compete with each other.

In our marriage, Laura is great with decorating the home and making sure my socks match my outfit. I on the other hand provide Laura with a spouse who actually understands the word budget! If Laura didn’t “provide” me with an eye for color my entire house would be beige, and if I didn’t “provide” her with economic sanity she would be up to her ears in debt. We provide exactly what the other needs.

The Pleasure

Pleasure is perhaps the most recognizable benefit to a marriage that Celebrates. Romance and human sexuality are a gift from God that has unfortunately been perverted by our world. We firmly believe that God intended couples to have GREAT sex lives. In fact, studies are showing that romance and sex in a marriage are a good barometer of the state of the marriage.

It is said that for a woman “when all is right with the world all is right in the bedroom” and for a man, “when all is right in the bedroom all is right with the world”.  You see the pleasure of marriage is best fleshed out when we work (that’s right, it’s not spontaneous combustion like on TV) at making the world or the bedroom “right” for our spouse.

The Prize

The final blessing is the Prize. Studies abound that married couples live longer, happier, less stressful and lives. Their financial status is much higher, and their standard of living much greater than that of single or divorced people.

Beyond the earthly blessings listed above, there comes the blessing of God. Throughout Scripture God uses the analogy of marriage to the relationship of Christ with the Church. God seeks to bless His church as it is faithful to the Person of Christ. In the same way, God seeks to bless couples who are faithful to each other.

So, why Celebrate Your Marriage?  Because of the benefits waiting for you!

• A Partner

• A Provider

• The Pleasure

• The Prize

Let the PARTY begin!

37 Qualities of a Healthy Marriage

The University of Maryland posted 37 qualities of a healthy marriage. These were determined by several social scientists, in examining “healthy marriages,” who have identified a number of traits, qualities and skills of people who had been able to maintain successful, satisfying relationships.

Do you agree? Tell us in the comments the traits you would eliminate – or additional traits you would add.

According to the University of Maryland, people who have a healthy marriage:

1.  Share a healthy philosophy of life with clear ideals
2. Are growing in friendship and respect as well as love for each other
3. Share many interests and activities together
4. Enjoy each other’s company
5. Are trusting and trustworthy, are interpersonally honest yet tactful
6. Are interdependent
7. Are proud of each other’s achievements, and give realistic praise
8. Are interested in and respect each other’s work
9. Share in decision making
10. Try to share and make monotonous work interesting, such as household chores
11. Have realistic hopes linked to attainable goals
12. Take responsibility for decisions and behavior
13. Will, if education is needed to reach goals, patiently delay marriage to continue their schooling
14. Have a mindset which sees problems as challenges to be solved
15. Have usually been seriously interested in at least three other possible mates before making their final choice, and have affected “break-ups” in non-destructive ways
16. Are ableto live within their financial means
17. Are aware of their weaknesses and show efforts at constructive change
18. Use criticism wisely, but maintain a balance in which there is more praise than criticism
19. Are “real” people, genuine and authentic
20. Find that the growing relationship helps each person become more sure of him/herself
21. Engage in healthy physical activities – get adequate nutrition, exercise and sleep
22. Restrict their use of sarcasm, nagging, embarrassment and complaining
23. Enjoy talking and listening to one another, even when discussing areas of conflict
24. Experienced courtships that were not frantic or rushed (over 60% of the early divorces were due to hurried marriages- where the couples were very young, not well acquainted, and where the engagement period was very short)
25. Are empathic and attempt to understand and meet their partner’s needs
26. Did not elope (4/5 of couples who elope, divorce)
27. Enjoy giving of themselves to others – they desire to give as well as to get
28. Used their courtship time to thoroughly get acquainted, and grow in love
29. Carefully consider the issues that face them, evaluating the pros and cons of alternatives. They try not to jump to hasty conclusions regarding important relationship issues
30. Marry out of respect and affection, not out of pity or sympathy
31. Enjoy each other’s families, in spite of their possible faults
32. Talked through a number of sexual issues during their engagement period
33. Enjoy a healthy, non-destructive and appropriate use of humor
34. Are satisfied with the amount of affection demonstrated in their relationship
35. Try to change personal habits that are irritating to their spouse
36. Try not to dwell on past mistakes, but look ahead to ways of avoiding similar situations in the future
37. Are able to forgive and receive forgiveness from one another

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Ponder Your Blessings

Reflect on Your Goals

Align Yourself with Like-Minded People

Yield to God’s Guidance

Have a very Merry Christmas, from Jay & Laura.

All the trimmings of the season tend to blind me at times to the real reason we celebrate Christmas. As a result, we have had to become very deliberate to spend some time focusing on THE reason for the season. Two things that we do:

1. We take an evening with our kids and sit down, turn off lights, light candles, and reflect on our tree. This is the story we use…the ornaments represent the gifts we give each other, the lights on our tree represent the heavenly hosts that hearalded the birth of the baby Jesus, the evergreen tree represents eternal life that we now have through Jesus, the gifts under the tree represent the gifts that the wisemen brought to Jesus, and last but not least- our tree is topped with a star that has Jesus on it! This has become a family tradition that focuses us all back on Jesus and His birthday.

2. We made a commitment a few years back to attend Christmas Eve services at our church. Even though at times it is inconvenient or we just do not want to go out, we have found that attending Christmas Eve services has again focused us back on Jesus!

Jesus is the reason for the season! Merry Christmas to you all!

Laura

Holly Jolly?

Go ahead, look at next week and plan a fun time with your family. Put in on the calendar!

Jay and Torrey are in San Deigo this week celebrating Torrey’s 21st birthday. This trip did not just happen, it took planning ahead. Even something as small as a game night takes planning ahead! Investing in your family and in your kids will reap rewards that are not alway measurable but will be visible in the years to come.

Merry Christmas from the Laffoon Family!

Laura

So how do you reduce the STRESS normally associated with the Christmas season? Here are three simple keys to reduce Christmas stress.

First, maintain your HEALTH! Nothing stresses us out more than tight fitting clothes from too much holiday fudge. Remember to enjoy the fun food but eat it in moderation. Also, even though it’s a busy time of year do not forget to get enough rest and exercise. Good sleep and regular exercise can help you keep a clear mind and reduce the amount of “over-thinking” this time of year brings.

Second, maintain your RELATIONSHIPS! Remember that Christmas is about celebrating Christ’s birth so keep in touch with HIM first and foremost. Stay grounded in the Word and in Prayer during this season and see how your relationships will flourish. When we keep Christ first HE helps us see the importance of the key relationships we have at home, work and church.

Finally maintain your PRIORITIES! The busyness of this season can often fog our perception of what is and isn’t important. Remember to stay connected with your spouse on the important decisions this season. SET BOUNDARIES together as to what you will and will not say agree to do. Those boundaries will help keep the “good” things away that will allow you to focus on the “great”!

Here’s to a stress free Christmas!

Blessings~

Jay and Laura

If you are like us, disrupting our routine makes us cranky and anxious! So how do we handle all the disruption and still enjoy this time of year? Be a Grace giver!

Whether it is a relative, a co-worker, a friend, a child, there are people in our lives that are EGRs- “extra grace required” people. People you love but they  definitely tax your patience. So here are three actions to take this holiday season when the EGRs come around:

1. Watch your tongue! Think before you speak

2. Guard your heart! Ask yourself this question, is what I am irriatated with, or angry with, really going to matter in 100 years

3. Give Grace! We remember at this time of year the birth of Jesus, who forgave us that we might forgive others.

Celebrate!

Laura & Jay