Three Simple Keys to Raising the Happiest Kids on the Planet!

Picking up from where we left off last week…it’s Key #2

Love Your Spouse More than Your Kids!

Again most people believe they do love their spouse more than their kids. However, what would people see if they were a “fly on the wall” of your home? I know for most of us there are three specific areas we can improve.

First, Speak your love in front of your kids. We have yet to meet the woman who doesn’t want to hear the words “I love you” from her husband. While this may be very difficult for some men it gives your kids a sense of security about mom and dad’s relationship. Similarly we have yet to meet the man who doesn’t appreciate a compliment from his wife. “Thank you dear for being such a good provider”. “Thank you for helping in the kitchen”. These words show your kids the affection you have for each other.

Second, Show your love in front of your kids. Displays of affection are like cement in your relationship. Holding hands while watching a movie or television program. An appropriate kiss before leaving for work or after coming home. A big hug for a “job well done” on dinner or for an accomplishment at work tell your kids that mom and dad enjoy each others presence.

Finally Stop your kids from disrespecting your spouse. Couples have to communicate with each other when they feel they are losing respect from a child. On numerous occasions we have and still do, sit our kids down and let them know that their words or tone of voice is disrespectful to one or both of us. Further we explain that if that disrespectful action doesn’t change there will be consequences paid.

Here’s helping you Celebrate!

J&L

Become a Marriage Mentor

Sitting at this table are David & Claudia Arp of Marriage Alive, Bill & Pam Farrel of Love-Wise, John & Shirley Van Epp of Love Thinks and of course yours truly .

We had the privilege last week, while in Albuquerque for a conference, of eating a lunch together and “talking shop” with these Marriage Movement Icons. Eventually we came to 800 pound Gorilla in the room and asked “How do we keep the Marriage Movement alive?” Why did we ask that? Because there were very few young marrieds at the convention.

Not so long ago in our country young couples learned how to “be married” from their parents, who most likely lived very near and perhaps even shared in the family business or farm. Now, between sky rocketing divorce, dysfunctional families, and the fact that many young marrieds live hours from mom and dad all beg the question “who’s teaching young people how to be married?”

You might be saying “Well that’s your job Jay and Laura!” And you are correct, but everyone knows that more is caught than taught. The best way for young marrieds to learn what it means to be married is for a couple who have been “down the road” a bit further to help out. To walk along side, to guide and assist when questions and troubles arise.

So what’s the point? Well if you are a young married person, seek out someone who you trust that’s been married 10-15 years longer than you and simply ask them, “would you mentor us?” If you are a bit more seasoned, then pick out someone you can help out and approach them by saying “we’d love to get together for lunch once a month and just talk about life.”

It’s really that simple! Let’s all do a little something to help another marriage THRIVE!

Blessings~
Jay & Laura

THE Missing Secret to a Happy Marriage!

In a recent blog post from @lisakifttherapy (read that blog here) the author outlines 11 Secrets of Happy Couples. We totally agree with 10 of the 11 “secrets” but find this one in particular a bit disturbing:

They put their individual happiness first, knowing that the happier they are the more they can offer each other and the relationship.

There is a REALLY BIG ISSUE at play here. Marriage is about putting the other person first! Putting ones personal happiness as a “first priority” over ones spouse is pure selfishness.

A wise man once wrote: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”.

Selfishness is second only to pride when it comes to destroying marriages. Long lasting growing marriages realize that a better mantra might be: Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds

Helping you Celebrate Your Marriage
Jay & Laura