Praise Your Wife!

I (Jay) tell men all over the country that they should praise their wife publicly. One way to hold your wife in high esteem is to publicly acknowledge her gifts and abilities. Not only is it the RIGHT thing to do but it screams to the world and more importantly HER that you love her.

This past weekend, I had the privilege of being Laura’s “roadie” as she spoke at a women’s conference at Caraway Conference Center in Sophia, NC. I ran (albeit not well) her Keynote presentation (read slides) from the sound booth, made sure she had water on stage and generally took care of her “every” need… (read rubbed her feet after she wore high heels)…

Anyway, she gave her new presentation “It’s Gotta Be the Shoes” throughout the weekend, and frankly knocked the ball out of the park! Anyone who’s seen one of our date nights and/or one of our conferences is aware of Laura’s love of shoes (doesn’t EVERY woman love shoes?) Well, Laura has taken her love of shoes and created an entire weekend retreat (As well as upcoming book/Bible study) on the different “shoes” that a woman wears in her life. From “Dancing shoes” to “Comfortable Shoes” and many in between.

I was humbled to watch my wife as she wove a wonderful weekend together where the women laughed, cried, and hugged! I was so glad I was firmly planted in the sound booth!

My wife is a fabulous communicator! I have to admit, as I watched her “doing her thang!” that there were tears in my eyes too as I praised the Lord for the gift he’s given me in Laura.

So praise your wife publicly…in fact why not do it right here on this blog! Or…ladies why not share a time when your hubby praised you publicly and tell us how it made you feel.

Blessings~
Jay

Men: ever thought of her orgasm as YOUR duty?

“. . . Judaism took the idea of sexual obligation so seriously as to protect a woman’s sexual pleasure, as opposed to simply her right to take part regularly in the sexual act itself.  The sexual act failed to fulfill a man’s duty if the woman did not feel pleasure, that is, achieve an orgasm.”

The Jewish culture has an interesting take on sex in marriage! A man’s duty to his wife is to fulfill her sexually.  I think that many women do not like having sex because they are not being fulfilled sexually so the thought process becomes, “what’s the point”?

Gentleman, your duty is to make sure that your wife is enjoying your sex life and when she is fulfilled, I can guarantee you she will want more! Ask your wife what you can do to make sure this happens. Learn to be a great lover by asking her what she needs.

To read the full post:
http://tinyurl.com/3vbndg9

Men, Do more house work and get more sex?!

Smart Man!

“Whether it’s doing the dishes or the laundry, men who help out around the  house get more sex”, according to sociologists from the University of California. According to the study, when a women feels valued it leads to more sex. So what do you think about this?

Ladies, lets hear from you:

1. Is it true? If your husband helped out more around the house, would he get more sex?

2. Does helping out around the house have anything to do with it?

3. When your husband helps out around the house, do you feel valued? What does he do that makes you feel valued? Does feeling valued have anything to do with sex?

Gentlemen, your turn:

1. Do you believe this? Do you think if you helped out around the house more, you would get more sex?

2. What do you think will lead to more sex?

3. What do you do or can you do to make your wife feel valued? Do you think that will lead to more sex?

Let us know what you think!

Love lessons from Rose

Sunday night our small group went to our local assisted living complex to visit two mothers of members of our small group. We simply went to take them a plant, spend some time, let them know they’re loved and to pray with them.

Then we saw our neighbor Rose. Just a few years ago Rose and her husband Lee retired to Alma. We know RETIRED to ALMA? But yep they did! Unfortunately a short time after they moved here HE had a debilitating stroke and is now a permanent resident at the assisted living facility.

EVERYDAY we see Rose from our home office as she leaves her home around noon and returns around 2pm. Then again daily around 5:30 returning home about 7pm. It never hit us what she was doing day after day, but Sunday night it became clear. Rose was LOVING her husband.

As we walked into the dining room of the assisted living facility, Rose stood next to Lee with a smile on her face as she fed him spoons of ice cream from a styrofoam cup. Occasionally she’d wipe his mouth, talk to him or hold his hand. Rose wasn’t just feeding him she was LOVING her husband.

We could wax philosophical about what love really is all about, quote from I Corinthians 13. But Sunday night Rose taught us that LOVE is really about meeting your spouses needs…even if your needs will NEVER be met again.

So, on your way home from work or picking up the kids, stop at your local ice cream store pick up a cup for your sweetheart and tell them Rose sent you!

Fighting for Lovers everywhere~
Jay and Laura

Kids Killing your Marriage?

Maybe “killing” is too strong a word…but….nonetheless…Kids in your house add joy and stress to any marriage.

When the kids are young, the details of taking care of a new baby can overwhelm the joy of parenthood. The diapers, the feedings, the sleep deprivation….etc. Most women find themselves having this thought at some point, “Sex? He has got to be kidding!”

As these lovely bundles of joy grow older, the challenges change. Now we add behaviorial issues, extra-curricular activities, homework,etc. Parents find themselves too tired to enjoy each other.

Fast forward a few years, and now they are teenagers.  These young adults keep hours that we, as husband & wife, can no longer keep! We find ourselves hiding away in our bedrooms to grab a few moments alone.

Reality is this: as husband and wife we MUST keep “the main thing, the main thing”! More and more couples are identifying themselves as friends rather than lovers.  This is a growing trend, and a scary one! Couples need to set boundaries, be creative, and keep the main thing the main thing.

Set boundaries with your children, young or old.  One of my biggest pet peeves is couples who allow there school aged children to stay up so late that as a married couple they have no time together. Jay and I have always made our kids go to be at a time that allows us at least an hour together.

Be creative in your time together. Take time for lunch together. Make a date night and get a babysitter. Your kids can do without you for one evening a week!

Keep the main thing the main thing. Loving your spouse, and making your marital relationship the most important human relationship in your life, is the BEST thing you can do for your kids! Your kids will grow up to be healthy, happy, and productive adults if you and your spouse make your marriage a priority above all else.

What do you do to keep “The main thing the main thing?” in your marriage.