Three Simple Keys to Raising the Happiest Kids on the Planet!
Picking up from where we left off last week…it’s Key #2
Love Your Spouse More than Your Kids!
Again most people believe they do love their spouse more than their kids. However, what would people see if they were a “fly on the wall” of your home? I know for most of us there are three specific areas we can improve.
First, Speak your love in front of your kids. We have yet to meet the woman who doesn’t want to hear the words “I love you” from her husband. While this may be very difficult for some men it gives your kids a sense of security about mom and dad’s relationship. Similarly we have yet to meet the man who doesn’t appreciate a compliment from his wife. “Thank you dear for being such a good provider”. “Thank you for helping in the kitchen”. These words show your kids the affection you have for each other.
Second, Show your love in front of your kids. Displays of affection are like cement in your relationship. Holding hands while watching a movie or television program. An appropriate kiss before leaving for work or after coming home. A big hug for a “job well done” on dinner or for an accomplishment at work tell your kids that mom and dad enjoy each others presence.
Finally Stop your kids from disrespecting your spouse. Couples have to communicate with each other when they feel they are losing respect from a child. On numerous occasions we have and still do, sit our kids down and let them know that their words or tone of voice is disrespectful to one or both of us. Further we explain that if that disrespectful action doesn’t change there will be consequences paid.
Here’s helping you Celebrate!
J&L
Three Simple Keys to Raising the Happiest Kids on the Planet!
MTV conducted a survey of over 1100 US teens and asked this question: “What makes you happy”? The response was shocking, unexpected and yet gives every parent hope! The top two answers: #1) Mom and Dad #2) Family time.
Now that you’ve picked yourself up off the floor, let’s make the following observations: Kids know deep down what really makes them happy in spite of what they might say or do. AND, kids know that happy parents make for happy homes.
Every parent longs for their kids to be happy. Unfortunately very few know there are really simple yet powerful keys to making this longing a reality! Think of the following three keys as a portal which will unlock the happiest kids on the planet!
Key #1. Put Your Marriage First!
Most people believe they already do put their marriage first, but a close look at their priorities tells a different story. How can you determine what your priorities are right now? Two easy check points; check how you are spending your time and your money.
Let’s be honest, we all have obligations and we all have 24 hours in each day. But let’s look beyond our obligations of work and the other parts of life that are a necessity. Let’s delve into how you and your spouse spend your “discretionary time and money”.
Discretionary time and money are key to keeping your marriage first. Are you dating your spouse? Are you planning short holidays together without the kids? Do you have a plan of action to make dating and holidays a part of your marriage or do you think they will “just happen”. Couples who want happy kids MUST set aside time and money to keep their marriage healthy and growing.
One of the best ways to accomplish this is by creating a family mission statement. We lay out a process in our book Make Love Everyday that walks a couple through four steps to creating a family mission statement. Having a family mission statement will act as a filter for your life allowing you to make the best choices for your marriage and family.
Look for the other two keys in the coming weeks!
Blessings~
J&L
A VISION for Marriage!
Laura, Angie (Our promotions director) and I had lunch today with three men with a VISION for helping marriages in their community. These three men are part of an organization called Men Following Christ out of Warsaw, IN. They drove three and half hours one way to have lunch with us to talk about a comprehensive plan for impacting marriages in their community!
What really impacted us was the scope and substance of the plan they had in place. 1) A “catalytic” marriage event designed for their entire community. Held at the high school, supported by multiple churches, businesses and organizations 2) Preparation for the event that included: a prayer team, a logistics team, a promotion team, an event team and a follow-up team. 3) Multifaceted follow up including Marriage Mentoring and Marriage Small Groups.
Where did their VISION come from? The realization that even though they had GOOD marriages, they wanted GREAT marriages and they wanted the same for others in their community. Their words not ours…”The only way to strengthen our community is to start with the marriages!”
So what’s your VISION?
J&L
Marriage Lessons from the NFL!
Last summer we spent a weekend in Charlotte, NC where we had the privilege to spend some time with John and Laura Kasay. John is the place kicker for the NFL’s Carolina Panthers and has been one of the most consistent kickers in the league over his 20 year career.
Do you want to know something interesting? Come the end of July, John will be heading to TRAINING CAMP. Even though John is a 20 year veteran he will go back to do drill after drill and focus on the fundamentals. Why? Because it’s what is needed to be successful!
We challenge couples continuously to “GET AWAY AND GET AHEAD”. Couples who make time to get away from the kids, the job and all that life throws at them are happier, healthier, have a better sex life, and are more contented with life, than those who don’t.
So when was the last time you got away for a “marriage training camp”? Unlike our friend John it DOESN’T have to be drill after drill. It could simply be a romantic weekend away together, or go to a marriage conference of your choice.
Hoping to see you soon!
Jay & Laura~
