10 things it took me 50 years to learn!
I (Jay) hit the big FIVE – 0 Sunday…not rounds of golf but years on this earth…here’s TEN things I’ve learned:
1. Jesus, decide what you believe then live like you believe it.
2. Marriage, no greater joy on earth than to walk through life with your best friend.
3. Children, the greatest gift we’re given even on days we’re not so sure.
4. Parents, quit blaming them for your problems and remember how much they sacrificed for you.
5. Friends, the family we choose.
6. Health, don’t take it for granted and work hard to keep it.
7. Integrity, let your yes be yes and your no be no.
8. Work, labor at something you love and never work a day in your life.
9. Service, we’re on this earth to bless others so get to it.
10. Laughter, it truly is the best medicine.
I know it’s not much for 50 years but I’m a slow learner 
Blessings~
Jay
Praise Your Wife!
I (Jay) tell men all over the country that they should praise their wife publicly. One way to hold your wife in high esteem is to publicly acknowledge her gifts and abilities. Not only is it the RIGHT thing to do but it screams to the world and more importantly HER that you love her.
This past weekend, I had the privilege of being Laura’s “roadie” as she spoke at a women’s conference at Caraway Conference Center in Sophia, NC. I ran (albeit not well) her Keynote presentation (read slides) from the sound booth, made sure she had water on stage and generally took care of her “every” need… (read rubbed her feet after she wore high heels)…
Anyway, she gave her new presentation “It’s Gotta Be the Shoes” throughout the weekend, and frankly knocked the ball out of the park! Anyone who’s seen one of our date nights and/or one of our conferences is aware of Laura’s love of shoes (doesn’t EVERY woman love shoes?) Well, Laura has taken her love of shoes and created an entire weekend retreat (As well as upcoming book/Bible study) on the different “shoes” that a woman wears in her life. From “Dancing shoes” to “Comfortable Shoes” and many in between.
I was humbled to watch my wife as she wove a wonderful weekend together where the women laughed, cried, and hugged! I was so glad I was firmly planted in the sound booth!
My wife is a fabulous communicator! I have to admit, as I watched her “doing her thang!” that there were tears in my eyes too as I praised the Lord for the gift he’s given me in Laura.
So praise your wife publicly…in fact why not do it right here on this blog! Or…ladies why not share a time when your hubby praised you publicly and tell us how it made you feel.
Blessings~
Jay
Surprising “survey” finds marriage is a priority amongst college students
Our son Torrey is a Junior at Central Michigan University and he recently relayed a story that took place in one of his classes. The Professor ran through an exercise designed to help everyone “get to know you better” Basically she listed around 20 items like: Find a cure for cancer, be a millionaire by age 30, be famous…etc. Each student could pick 3 items off the list then they had to “defend” why they picked those three.
One item on the list was “have a happy marriage”. Our son went on to explain that HE certainly picked that as one of his top three, but he didn’t believe many of the other students in his class would. Much to his surprise when nearly 90% of the class picked “have a happy marriage” as one of their top three from the list.
Torrey went on to say that there were two basic reasons given for picking “have a happy marriage”, they were:
1) My parents have a good marriage and I want one too.
2) My parents marriage is awful and I don’t want that.
The desire for a happy marriage is present, strong and unquenchable. The work it takes to make a happy marriage is what most people standing at the alter do not understand.
What were some of the reasons YOU chose to marry?
Send us your thoughts~
J&L
A Loaded Question!
Jay and I have made it a practice and priority to watch a TV show with our kids. One show a night or week, they choose. With Torrey it was Survivor. We still watch that to this day even though Torrey is now almost 21! With Grace it depends on the night of the week!
One of the reasons we started this practice with our kids was due to the conversations that were sparked out of our watching together. The other evening, Grace, Jay and I had watched a show and now it was time for bed- for Grace. As she began to head upstairs, she sighed very deeply and flounced herself down in front of us and asked this question, ” How do you know it is love that will last?”
I looked at Jay, he looked at me…both waiting for the other to answer! Finally, Jay said,” Grace when you love someone because of what they “do for you”, that is just infatuation. BUT when you find the person that you want “to do for them” for a lifetime, now that is love.” Smartly Grace replied, ” Oh so when it is all about you then it is infatuation, but when it is all about them, that is love that lasts. Okay Goodnight!”
What a profound and easy way to put it! When it is all about you folks it is just infatuation but when it is all about the other person, it is love that will last a lifetime!
What can you do for your spouse today? Let us know how you make your relationship all about the other person.
Can’t wait to hear!
Laura
THE Missing Secret to a Happy Marriage!
In a recent blog post from @lisakifttherapy (read that blog here) the author outlines 11 Secrets of Happy Couples. We totally agree with 10 of the 11 “secrets” but find this one in particular a bit disturbing:
They put their individual happiness first, knowing that the happier they are the more they can offer each other and the relationship.
There is a REALLY BIG ISSUE at play here. Marriage is about putting the other person first! Putting ones personal happiness as a “first priority” over ones spouse is pure selfishness.
A wise man once wrote: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”.
Selfishness is second only to pride when it comes to destroying marriages. Long lasting growing marriages realize that a better mantra might be: Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds
Helping you Celebrate Your Marriage
Jay & Laura
